Dear Friends,
As some of you know in this last week may have known,  I have established a personal contact with my heart donor family. I have had some tell me "how exciting" or congratulations. I know these are well intended comments, and I have taken them as such. But it has been anything but exciting. The other day as I read the first personal letter from my donor's mother I was overwhelmed, and a emotion of grief and tears came over me as though I had just lost someone very close and dear to me. And have found myself in the last few days in a deep spirit of grief for this family. This contact has now taken on a more personal reality than I ever thought it would, and has affected me and my family in a profound way. I know in a lot of ways this is new territory that we are dealing with. I do not say that in anyway to make myself sound special because I am certainly not, but not very many people know a transplant patient on a personal basis or the emotions that come with this donor/recipient contact. So that is why I say this is new territory. I know and sense there are a lot of trials that my brothers and sisters are dealing with everyday and I pray for you every day. I am in no way shape or form even coming close to saying what I am dealing with is more severe that what you may be facing. All I am asking is that you pray for me and my family, as we grieve for this young man and the void in which his family feels everyday and especially for this family. As his mother told me yesterday the pain of her loss “indescribable, I miss him with every breath I take". Please pray that my grief would not be self-indulgent but that my grief as strange as it sounds would be balanced by the Lord and his word. I would be willing to privately share with any of you the name of this 23 yr old young man whose heart now beats in me, and for the amazing things he was doing with his life. He had accomplished more in his short time here on Earth than most could do in 2 life-times. I have always known that on the other side of what I was the recipient off, was a family who had suffered a great loss. But since this has become more personal with a name and a picture if was as I have already said something more than my family and I were ready to take in. We can convictions in how the Lord works and orders all events in our lives and we can take hope in those things, but it still doesn’t take away the pain and hurt this family feels everyday.
Thanks for indulging me in this post.
Steve